Things I'm deciding

Bare with me, it appears I'm having a rather nice epiphany today...


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I'm a fairly young woman. I realize this. I'm only 23, and I've only just begun my life as a wife and as a home maker. But at the same time, I feel like our society lately, especially in my age bracket, it seems there's always this undeniable pressure to always be pushing forwards. To be getting on with your life. To grow up. To make money and get that dream job. To start your family, to have everything that you ever wanted because god forbid you wait until you're thirty to get started.

So even though I'd really like to just sit back and enjoy what I have in my life now, it feels like sometimes I'm being ushered along. I feel as if I have numerous influences at my back rushing me forwards, shooing me along, telling me not to stop now there's so much more I should be accomplishing. How can you be happy /just/ being a stay at home wife? You don't even have kids to take care of yet. You should be doing more for yourself.

Is it just me that, while reading that, you imagine Alice from Alice in Wonderland (the original, not the tim burton style) being ushered out of the garden by the flowers. Yeah? Okay well let's keep going.


Careful Alice, those elitist bastards turn on you in just a few moments..

Most days I'm happy enough to just live my life, to enjoy my time with my husband, the patron saint of my life because well, otherwise I severely doubt I'd have one. But there's just days where I feel like it's not good enough to be what I am. Where I am. I feel sometimes like that's part of the reason I craft, is that it's in effort to show people 'hey look, I don't have a job, but I'm still contributing in some fashion, right?'

Next Point..

I've decided that I need some new fresh blood in my blogging atmosphere. I love reading crafting blogs, and it's originally what I set out for mine to be. And while I still believe that a large portion of it is indeed dedicated to such things, I know it's also turned into a personal place for me to explore my thoughts as well as connect with other people I'd never dreamed I'd meet.

But at the same time, I think that us, as bloggers, always tend to clear coat things. Shelack that baby up so no one sees the mistakes underneath. I love sitting and reading abotu all the wonderful things people make, all the joyful times they have with their children, all the incredible experiences they're having. (I also tend to have the habit of reading blogs about women who are in different phases in their lives. Meaning wiser and older. Because when they were my age of course they had much more interesting stuff going on (refer to point one in this complex) ).

But sometimes I wish, just for a little while, I could find some places where I felt I could personally relate on my not so fantastic days. (At least that was where I started out), but low and behold, look what the hell I found.

Plus Size Bloggers.

Seriously. Where the hell have I been never to have stumbled across these lovely beautiful fantastically bold women before?
If you've seen any of the rare instances that I post photos, you'll know I tend to run on the curvier side.
And honestly, most days, I'm perfectly fine with it.
My husband loves my body, and I think that's enough.
(Again..most days...)

I'm already quite thankful I've joined twitter if only for this aspect. Since I seem to keep running across them!
It started with Katie
through which I found Amber.
Which in turn (I believe) sparked Chastity,
which led to Gabi!

And I've only been on twitter for a few days!

These girls have left me feeling inspired. They make me remember all the times that I'm truly okay with myself. That I feel pretty and lovely and more than just okay in the morning. They make me confident in knowing that I can be that beautiful. I look forwards to reading their blogs, perhaps getting to know them further, as well as taking more inspiration from them.

Also, I can't wait to have a bit of spending money, because Simply Me seems like a simply awesome website. A place of swimwear that I'm looking at and thinking 'wow..I might actually be able to wear that', as well as the all important 'well I'll be damned, that might be able to hold my boobs'.
Please don't ask me to recount the numerous times I've accidentally flashed people because my swim suits just weren't up to the DD/DDD standards.

And lastly...

It's okay to share my feelings. It's okay to have those feelings. I tend to keep a lot bottled up because I know that most of the time I'm a little bit...
in your face.
I tend to share what's on my sleeve quite a bit,
and that usually comes in the form of dry humor not everyone understands.
I can also be extremely spastic and loud and overwhelming.
As well as incredibly anxious and unreasonable in others.
So I try to keep the rest of it tucked away so people only have to deal with so much.

But I'm trying to make myself understand I'm not just something to have to be dealt with. My feelings have valid points and are acceptable to have. It's a big thing for me, and some days I get it, some days I don't. Such is life I suppose.

Well, I think I've shared all I came to share today about what I've been deciding. I'm sure if I think of anything else, I'll let you know. :)