Friday, November 16, 2012

the girl with the toxic mind

frankly, there's been no big secret, scare, or major life problem that has kept me away.
frankly, I feel a little like a failure, as I often do when I don't keep up appearances.
frankly, I'm not entirely sure if I should even be writing right now, but I'm in a bubble bath, with nothing but time on my hands. 

a few things that have changed in my life:

I lost my job. Apparently I just never felt comfortable enough. But the solution to my discomfort is also being let go. I'm still not entirely sure how that one was supposed to work.

my sister and my four month old nephew velociraptor have moved in with me. She left her baby's father, and needed a healthy and stable place to get back on her feet. So my husband and I volunteered. So far, things are working out fairly well.

I'm still raising a three month old coon hound. he's a monster , but just handsome enough to be tolerable. I am still struggling somewhat in learning how to live successfully with him, but I don't want to get rid of

things I'm feeling guilty about:

I still don't know if I'll be able to start blogging like I was again. Frankly I don't blame those who I'm sure have already moved on from me. I miss times... But at the same time, I still have problems being totally frank and candid. with anyone in my life. you'd think the relative anonymity od blogging would appeal that way. But I still get caught up in expectations.

I have hundreds of unread e-mails. Thank you for anyone who has asked about me or tried in some way to lend support. My friend Rae, my darling dear, has even resorted to letters since I went off the grid. I don't deserve her. Really. 
(by the way, Rae, if you read this, I love your letters. Warden loved his bone. I have pictures I've been meaning to post)

I can't make both Thanksgivings this year. I feel really terrible, but I dropped the ball in arranging it so we could. No one's upset with us, but I can't stop worrying. I feel like I failed and I just want everyone happy.

what's really been going on:

if you'd follow my past, in terms of relations with groups of people, you'd see a pattern emerge. the pattern is that I have something happen...something a normal person would let interrupt their thoughts and schedules for say a few days. well I do that...maybe a few days extra, but then my toxic cocktail kicks in.

I seem to have a special blend of anxiety and depression that truly screws me over. You see, I get depressed about something and retreat from my normally scheduled life. but then, when I feel possibly feel up to trying to reenter said stream, my anxiety grabs hold. I fret and worry and think it's been too long. people will be upset with me. people won't want to interract with me anymore anyway. they'll be angry. so I retreat even more. sort of beat them to the punch. I used to be so bad I'd never pick up the phone because I was so terrified it'd be someone somehow angry or upset. This particular problem did me no favors in college.

not that I'm helpless...or have something the matter with me that isn't manageable. I know many people have much crappier problems than I. I've been medication free for going on three years now.
(not much of an accomplishment really, but it's something to say)

regardless... I guess I just wanted to try and explain for a moment some of the  inner mechanisms of my mind. I still don't have it right. and I know that. i think it's probably one of the hardest things in the world to try and explain a ... mind difficulty... to someone who doesn't experience it. it's like trying to explain to a bird what being a human is like, but not knowing how to speak fluent cockatoo. i feel like I don't have the words to express my meanings. and yet, i still try occasionally...

Monday, October 1, 2012

Scavenger Hunt Link Up!

Hey y'all!
It's that day!
[In best Stuart Little voice, err his brother actually]
"It's today! It's today!"

Is everyone ready for linking up their awesome scavenger hunt finds?
I bet so!
Well let's get going shall we?
Here's what I found!


So my wild spot is going to be taken up by another blogger.
Elizabeth from Love is the Adventure
I'm not entirely sure why, but I feel drawn to her.
I don't get to read her blog as often as I'd like, but she's pretty amazing.
And always super fun and supportive when I do get a chance to chat at her!
So my wild goes to her! <3


This post right here.
It's a great post when it comes to shorter hair styles.
It has a great list of several different styles, and her videos are pretty good too.
These were a definite life saver when my hair was in that awkward growing out stage.
(Not that I totally believe it's not still in that phase haha)


the lovely gentri lee
Come on, who doesn't love an eighties prom?!


That would be this bomb casserole.
I'm not huge on breakfast foods, so I always have to do something like this to eat them.
And I have to say, this is probably one of the yummiest recipes to make,
and super super easy.
Gah makes me want it just thinkin about it.


This skirt and faux sock combo is super amazingly adorable.
It actually inspired me to make my own.
I don't wear it too often, but I really like it none the less.
A very good feminine thing I wore in summer, easy and effortless.
I even wore it with a pair of tights to work one day.


Psh. That's an easy one.
She's pretty much one of the most amazing ladies I know.
And I already consider her a very dear friend.
We write super long email trilogies to one another,
and she is one of those girls who, if she writes to you, you know you'll come away with a smile.
I have a feeling she's going to be a life long friend.
One of those friends that...even when you don't talk as often...
It doesn't matter.
You'll just get one of those emails, and it's just the same as it always was.


This post by Megan is one that has still stuck with me.
It is one that speaks of a topic I very much am apart of, anxiety.
And any time someone has the courage to speak so openly of it,
I admire them. I don't oftentimes speak of my own,
I think probably because I'm not comfortable enough with it.
I still hope it's just one of those phases that will go away,
like bell bottoms or polio.


Okay so technically this isn't like a conventional toothy smile,
but I loved the picture so much I couldn't help it.
I love popping over to the Near Sighted Owl
when I get a chance and seeing what she's been up to.
She's very much an empowering presence,
and I love seeing her style.


Okay so I'm kind of cheating on this one.
I tried to pick my favorite but just couldn't.
I'll just say that just about any post made by Julie over at The Funny Thing of it is
Will do that to me.
I get told I have a great sense of humor,
and I'm not entirely sure why.
I'm usually pretty dry and I can come off as harsh sometimes.
But hey, this gal makes me bust into giggles nearly every time I see a post.
Who can't appreciate 50 shades of stupid?


I had to go with a tie on this one ladies.
Because I have two that I would consider go to bloggers.
Either for advice, or support, or just a sweet hello.
And they are:
mk from From The Guest Room,
or if I want a closer to home reference,
I go to Katlyn from The Dreamy Meadow.

Now, let's get to the super good parts!
I'm dancin I'm dancin!
[okay if you don't get that reference, then I'll explain later]

Now Vana, show em what they can win...

Ladies and gents you should be totally stoked!
I know I am!
Because honestly, come on, that is some awesome grab bag material!
Some sweet ad spaces, and some new custom made greatness!
I want to thank all my ladies who donated to our little giveaway,
and you should too!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

Monday, September 24, 2012

Bloggy Scavenger Hunt! [LIST UP!]

Hey all! It's totally time for that super fun thing everyone has been looking forwards to! 
  Today is just the list up,
but it gives you one week to get your lists together!
We will all be looking for things that fit into the same ten categories,
but the magic of this is going to be that we all read different blogs.
We are all touched by different things.
We all see beautiful as something different.

I'm looking forwards to emphasizing that, and I cannot wait to see what y'all come up with!
Also, there are some super fab-tastic girls who are going to be helping on this journey!
I have kept their identities a super secret until now, but here it is!
The big reveal!

[click the birdy above for a quick tweet-out about the amazing!]

Now see, what these girls are going to be doing for me is this;
They're going to be hosting the link up on their blogs too!
That way we can have as many people exposed to it as possible!
I want this to be a communal sharing thing, 
and as such have recruited these awesome ladies to help spread the word!
Now, onto the other part of the awesome reveal!
The reveal of what y'all will actually be searching for!
Are you ready?!

[easy tweet the list ;) ]

So now you have just about everything you could possibly need!
Don't forget that the link up will happen
That gives you a week from now to go through your blogs to find some stellar answers.
I seriously can't wait to see what y'all come up with!
Also, the link up and giveaway will be up for about a week.
This'll give you a little time to make sure you can come have fun and participate!
And oh yes, about the giveaway,
It's not too late to earn your free entry with that little RSVP.

Also, in case you're interested and haven't found one yet,
here's a button to share the love!

LHH Scavenger Hunt

Prizes will be announced Monday with the link up,
as well as the availability of winning them!
Thanks to all in advance who come and participate!
I look forwards to seeing you ALL there!!

Monday, September 17, 2012

Scavenger Hunt Awesome Info!

Hey y'all!
Are you ready for some super amazing awesome coming your way??
I know that I am! You should be too!
You are, right?

Have you been seeing these amazing buttons popping up everywhere??
I have! I feel like I've handed them out like campaign buttons!
And there's been lots of people asking for all the details for the upcoming

And today is your lucky day because I just so happen to have them!
Ready for this amazing awesome good time?
Of course you are!

Here's what's going down:

Well, basically, it's going to be a unique way to promote just what it is blogging is all about,
Our Community.
We're always looking for ways to help support one another,
and what better way to do it than by having some great times and playing a game!?

 Basically what's going to happen is I'm going to put up a list.
This list is going to contain ten different items you're going to search for. 
They can be posts, pictures, just about anything I figure out before the list goes live.
Which is September 24th!
Then you're going to have one week to search out those awesome things.

While everyone is going to have the same set of things to look for,
people are going to come up with lots of different answers, 
because we all read different blogs,
we all know different people,
we all have different things that appeal to us!
That's the beauty of it!

Then, we're going to do a community link up.
This'll happen October 1st!
I already have some fabulous co-hosts signed up,
and they're going to be hosting the link up on their blog too!
[They're going to be a surprise until the official List up!]
That way there will be tons of places to link up so we can all have a great time!
I'm hoping for a really awesome turn out!

But wait Johnny, there's more!!

There is also going to be a funtastic giveaway!
A nice pack of fun and easy prizes that will go to one lucky winner!
Because come on, all scavenger hunts have prizes!
We already have a few different fabulous ladies giving away some things for our awesome event.

But if you're interested!
I'm still taking donations and co-host spots. 
I think that you can't have too many co-hosts. I want this to be as big and beautiful as possible!
And maybe if there's enough interest and a high enough turn out, there'll be a round two!
Donations for prizes would be super fantastic.
Just small fun stuff that will be an excellent little prize package for the lucky winner.

So are you guys totally amped?!
I know I am!
Can you tell? 

Only a few more small details to share!


LHH Scavenger Hunt

Here's my thuper fantastic button to share around!
The more people that hear about this the more awesome it's gonna be!
So feel free to take one.


If you'd like to participate more than just linking up 
which of course isn't necessary but is awesome!
please don't hesitate to email me!


This is something new I'd like to try just for fun.
I'm going to open up an impromptu little RSVP.
For my own curiosity, I'd love to see how many of you are thinking you'll link up.
This is in no way binding or a have to thing either.
But if you do fill out my little area down below here,
when the link up goes live, I'll email you a super awesome passphrase,
and it'll get you a free entry into the giveaway!
How sweet is that??

All right folks!
There you have it!
All the details you need to participate in this super fly event.
Don't forget, next Monday, the 24th, the list will go live!
I hope to see you then!!

Sunday, September 16, 2012

My Saturday Night [Cheap Date Night]

Last night my hubby and I had an awesome date night.
Seriously, it was super fun and romantic,
and wanna know the best part?
It was super free!!

Mmhm that's right. 
We did date night at our house.
And while we know it could be a better set up,
we still had fun last night and enjoyed ourselves.
Right from our front porch.

Indeed my friends.
We had a good ol fashioned drive in night.
We watched The Big Miracle.
Which, for us, was okay. 
The reason for that I think is the fact we'd known the actual story.
We knew what was going to happen.
Plus it did play more as a documentary,
and because we'd already seen a pretty extensive account of it,
it was kind of already predetermined.

But we still had a really good time.
Wanna know why?
Because we were together and doing something fun.
This is our little set up, with our projector and our dvd player.

The couch cushions doubled as a foot rest and a bed for our dog.
Did the dog utilize said bed, as she normally does inside?
Of course not. She sat in our laps the entire time.
And when it started getting a little chilly, inside my sweatshirt.

This is the infamous Mr. White.
He was nomming on his subway, and doesn't he look philosophical there?
He might have been, I can't quite remember.
He was most certainly talking about something or another.

I was just nomming on my subway.
It was quite nummy.

I highly recommend that if you can swing this somehow at your house,
you most definitely should.
Our projector is really quite old, and one we got for a bargain after the school didn't want it anymore.
We don't use it really super often,
but when we do use it, it's always a real blast.
Besides, our drive in here has started charging by person!
And they're being a stickler about outside food and drinks.
I'm sorry, but personally, for me, that was the appeal of the drive in.
It was cheap, and you could just kind of chill out in your car with whatever you brought.
Did I most often still visit the snack bar? Of course.
I'm hoping that maybe we'll still be able to go there one day, my husband and I.
We've both been over the course of our lives,
but we've never been together.
But I got to say, last night was probably even better.

So yes, I just wanted to share the adorable-ness with you today!
[Feels weird posting on a Sunday haha]

Some things coming up to look forwards to!:

Tomorrow will be the official informational post about the Bloggy Scavenger Hunt!
You should definitely be here to read all about it.
[and maybe there's an opportunity to earn free entries for the giveaway ;) ]

Also, Thursday, we're finally going to go pick up Warden!!
Isn't that exciting??

We made our first purchase for him yesterday.
His little ID tag. It's got camo all over the back.
We also bought him some bandannas that I need to sew onto his collar.
We're going to be vlogging our trip to Portland and picking him up to share with you for coffee on Friday!
Isn't that super awesome fantastic?!
I've never done a vlog before, so you'll have to bear with me.

Anyway, I think that's about it.
Have a great rest of your weekend everyone and can't wait to hear from you again!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

4 Simple Goals Before 2013

So today I was reading a post by a good friend of mine, mk from From the Guest Room.
She's pretty amazing, and honestly, is probably the girl I accredit where I am now in blogging to.
She was the first one I ever reached out to in my frail little hopes that we could swap ads.
She was the first one to accept, and the first one to encourage me to continue to branch out.
She has always been SUPER supportive in nearly everything I try,
as well as always stopping by to leave a friendly comment or two.
I truly cherish her.

The post speaks on 4 simple goals before 2013.
She found it elsewhere, and now I'm borrowing it from her.
I think it's an admirable idea, especially since I don't particularly invest in new year's resolutions.
These ones seem much more manageable.
She speaks on these goals making life richer and happier on a daily basis.
I think that most of mine fall under that category. 
Okay, are you ready?

Successfully integrate and potty train Warden.
Also successfully pick him up from Portland, relatively stress free
The day is getting close to when we finally get to meet that little guy!
[Somewhere around the 21st I'm told]
And I'm super excited.
It pretty much rules my mind about every third thought.

Stick to our healthy eating/living plans.
We've been doing fairly well lately,
especially with portion control, which is where we're mainly focusing.
I'd like to try and keep up better with exercise, and I'm sure having a new puppy will help with that.
 Also, we bought seventy dollars worth of ground turkey for 13 bucks. How awesome is that??

Show my husband my appreciation for him each and every day.
I hope to make his lunch on a more regular basis as part of this.
I love making his lunch. Makes me feel homey and domestic.
Plus I know he'll think of me at his lunch period and how much I care about him.
But I hope to begin doing it more consistently and in bigger ways as part of this goal.
He deserves more than I could ever give him, I feel like I want to try harder.

Have a more positive outlook on a more consistent basis.
I usually have a pretty sunny disposition, but negativity tends to creep in more than it ought to,
especially when I'm tired.
So I'm hoping to focus on being a more consistently positive person,
and perhaps especially at work, where I can spread a smile to every person who comes to my window.

All right!
Those are mine.
What are yours?
If you decide to share yours, be it here in comments or in a post of your own,
I'd love to see it!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

7 Questions AH GOD I MISSED ONE!

Shame shame on me.
Last week apparently I spaced 7 questions,
which is one of my fav link ups to do,
and one that I usually drag myself out of my bloggy doldrums to participate in.
So for that I am very sorry.
Indeed, quite regretable.
So let's go!

1. Do you have any weird food combinations that you love?
HMMM. Weird? That question strikes me funny, because 'weird' things I eat, don't seem weird to me. But might to others, I guess. HUM.
Spray cheese and microwave tacos. Indeed. If you haven't tried it, you are not allowed to judge. They are amazing, and a total college born food. And by microwave tacos, I mean those little mini ones that you can buy in the frozen section by the taquitos?
Also, I could probably eat buffalo sauce on just about anything. YUM.
I also eat cottage cheese on my baked potatoes. My husband thinks that's weird. I personally don't.

2. Have you ever written a blog post, published it, then immediately deleted it?
I have not. I have written a blog post before that I intended to publish, then chickened out. It was kind of rage-y and not very nice, so I decided not to post it. But sometimes I've wondered if I should delete something after I posted it. 

3. What is a hair style you wish you could pull off, but would never be brave enough to try?
This question does not compute. I don't have a hair style I wouldn't be brave enough to try. I have literally had my hair in just about every style there is. Except maybe dread locks, but I don't want to pull that off. Not a fan. But I've had it uber short, long, big, sleek, pink purple red black. So yeah, I don't have a fear of doing things with my hair. OH! Okay, wait, just thought of one. and I only won't try it because my husband is a freak about symmetry and he would kind of have a tic when looking at me. 

That hairstyle right there. I think it's super sexy and edgy and I love it. But now that I have a job I'd probably not be able to do it, also like I mentioned, hubby, symmetry, it's an odd kink.

4. Would you rather have to always use the sun to tell the time or directions by the stars?
Oooo good question. Goo Gentri. Hmm. Probably tell directions by the stars. I have a horrid directional sense, so actually finding a basis for myself might be an actually nice change of pace. Besides, I dislike staring at the sun. No bueno.

5. What is a fall trend that you are excited to try?
Ah god. I'm so not on the trend band wagon. I want it to be fall, desperately, for the pure and simple fact that I want to wear cooler clothes. Clothes I can snuggle into. Drink hot chocolate and eat cookies. But as far as trends, I honestly don't know what they are! 
*Presses pause to research a moment*
Okay. I am so all for big cozy sweaters. YES PLEASE!
L-R: Charlotte Ronson, Theyskens’ Theory, Betsey Johnson

And so NOT into burgandy pvc rain coats?

L-R: Alexander Wang, Diane von Furstenberg, Tommy Hilfiger

Not even the models look good in that yo.

L-R: Lela Rose, 3.1 Phillip Lim, Derek Lam

Contrasting collars. Now that I could get behind.
[Save for I'd have to buy them.]

6. Who is your style icon?
Hmm... style icon. Big position there. I'm not sure I really have one, as far as well known people go.
Though I really do love watching Leesha.
She's super talented in make up, and I love doing mine off her tuts.
She seems so super sweet and caring, I just want to be her friend haha.
 I'm not sure if I ever do want to have a 'style icon'.
I think, personally, I try to emulate people I look up to in looks a bit too much.
And it makes me feel bad about myself, if I don't feel like I live up to it.
So to have an icon, well, I don't know. I just want to try and love me, and look like me.

7. What's your favorite outdoor activity?
Hmm that's a toughy. Maybe grilling, at least lately. I'm not sure if that's considered very outdoorsey, if we're meaning active wise. I just love chilling with my husband and smelling the smoke and the food. It's a really nice time to just be together, talk, and relax.


Don't forget to go see Gentri and say hey and see what awesomesauce she came up with.
As well as everyone else who links up!!

OH oh oh wait.
I am thinking of putting together something super fun soon.
I am thinking of doing what I'm going to call a Bloggy Scavenger Hunt.
It's going to be a way to promote other bloggers, as well as just have some fun and laugh together.
I hope some of you are interested,
and it'll be a link up, and maybe even a giveaway for participating!
Who knows?!
Anyway, I hope y'all think it'll be fun!
Katlyn did!
I will post more about it soon, and see what kind of nibbles I have in interest!

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Fifty Shades of Stupid! Oh Yeah!!

So from the title alone of this link up,
I could not HELP but desire to be apart of it.
Come on, we all know that my opinions on that book weren't the greatest.
SO that made me happy in itself.

But, the bigger reason I'm linking up today is the fact that it sounds amazing!!
Julie Marie from The Funny Thing of it Is
[which is, by far, one of my fav blogs to read. She has a similar humor to things]
is hosting this fantastic bloggy link up, and let's see just what I have to divulge, eh?


Basically we're going to be reliving some of my more stupid moments.
Who doesn't want a good giggle at themselves once in a while, right?
One must never take oneself too serious.
Or something.
Don't judge me.


Okay, this one is something I do at work. ALL the flippin time.
It bugs the crap out of me, because my brain is so on autopilot and it's obvious.
Someone will order a drink, clearly telling me what size they want it, or if they want it hot or iced.
And before I actually give my brain time to analyze and compute said information,
I bluntly go, in my chipper cheery chipmunk voice,
"And what size did you want that?"
To which they stare back at my blankly,
and slowly repeat what they'd just said,
which my brain is finally catching up to saying,
hey genius, we knew that.
It's super amazing. Let me tell ya.
You should try it one day.

[This one involves me hubby too. A TWOFER!]

So. Tonight (Monday) my husband and I came home,
after very long and particularly exhausting work shifts.
As soon as I stepped in my house, the first thing out of my mouth is:
someone has shit in my house.
Now keep in mind, I do have a dog, and am currently dog sitting my mom's dog.
So it is not totally unreasonable that, indeed, someone had possibly shit in my house.
But wait, it gets better.
My husband and I are now going from room to room,
trying to ferret out this nauseating smell.
That we can't decide if it's like, dog poop,
or vomit,
or old cheese.
(My words, not his)
We'd finally determined it was either in our dining room,
or kitchen.
And we have a few odd boxes in our dining room,
since of course we haven't unpacked fully yet.
I said don't judge me.
So we're beginning sniffing like idiots around these boxes,
trying to discern if just what we're smelling is in there.
But to no avail.
Finally, we end in the kitchen,
when I hear my husband gagging
Sweetly I ask "didjya find it dear?"
To which he replies, weakly, yah.
Turns out, and this is where it gets MORBIDLY embarrassing.
It was a box dinner that we had cooked,
and the sauce that we didn't use was still in said box,
and had sat on our counter long enough for the bacteria or whatever,
to create enough gas to rupture the bag.
It was truly and seriously nauseating.
And I'm very sad with myself that it had been left on the counter that long.
But... in truth... it is not the first time such a thing has happened.
okay judge me a little you awesome housewives you

So there you have it ladies.
Those are my embarrassing and lame stories for the week.
I hope you go over and check out all the other awesome entries there are sure to be.
Until next time...

Monday, September 10, 2012

Confessions of a Gamer Wife: MAKEUP STYLE!

Howdy doody folks!
Ohmagosh it's been so long since I've
A) posted
and even longer since I

It's been a popular series, 
(when I've had the chance to do it)
and so I'm happy to be able to put together something for you guys today!

Now, it's not so much a blog thing as a video thing!
It's not a vlog, sorry, I haven't gotten the confidence to just blather on without doing something yet.
So it's a makeup tutorial!
I've never done one before,
nor have I ever edited video before, so be kind kay?

So first off, here's the video:

Now. Let me explain to you just why this is a gamer wife moment.
There's a few reasons actually.

This makeup is based on a character from the SyFy channel.
Yes, the SyFy channel. A channel I would have never even considered watching before my husband.
She's from a show called Warehouse 13.
And I can't beleive I'm saying this, but if you ever get the chance,
watch it.
It's good.

So yeah, there's one of the reasons I know that this is greatly influenced by my husband.
The other main reason is the fact that, in the end, I mention I do indeed have an Asari look.
In case you don't know what that means, let me enlighten you.

That is an Asari. It's actually Liara, whom the look is based off of.
She's a character from my husband's favorite video game, Mass Effect.
The fact that I, indeed, have done my makeup in the style of one of these fine blue babes,
does indicate just how far into the nerdome folly I have fallen.

I think they should make meetings for this.
For serious.

Also, as a side note, a slightly less geeky [though still geeky thing] that is in this video,
which you can see in the preview,
is my glow in the dark mustache collage on my little jut out of my bedroom ceiling.
Yeah, that's what that is.
You should be damn envious, you should.
We just put them up last night, and they amuse me greatly.
Though my husband is my reason for my mustache obsession.
He does indeed have an inspiring mustache. He's actually been told those exact words.

[that was taken at the Casey James/Rodney Atkins Concert. You should be so jealous. 
It was AH-mazing]

But see what I mean about the mustache?
He so pulls it off, right?

So this is the conclusion of said gamer wife moment.
I know it's not my most well written post,
mainly because the majority of it is about a video,
in case you ever wondered what I act like,
or how I actually talk,
or any of that business that I often wonder about my fellow bloggers,
there you are. There's your shining example.

I hope your days have been happy and grand,
and that you stop by and visit again!

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

7 Questions Humm-burger

1. Hamburger or Hotdog? (veggie versions count)
Mmm either or on any given day. Depends on my mood. I'm finicky about food, meat especially. Veggi hot dogs used to be a super big ticket for me. You know, the kind that come in a can haha.

2. If you had to live on any other planet in our solar system, besides Earth, which would you choose?
Venus. Why? Because I'd like to say I'm a Venuvian. Yes that's the only reason.

3. Share a photo of an outfit that represents your personal style, please. (doesn't have to be of you)
dressed up sweats #clothes for new moms #just say(e) style

I would wear sweats every single day if I could make em look this cute. I am all about comfort and the kind of wonderful security I find in sweats and hoodies.
 [I am SO entirely ready for fall by the way]

4. Would you rather get ready for the day or get ready for bed?
Bed. Fuckin bed every time. I love bed. Bed is glorious. I never seem unable to be ready for bed. I love sleeping, and I love being cuddled up completely and solely with my husband. I look forwards to it every day.

5. You have to choose between never having eyelashes or never having eyebrows, which would you choose? 
Never having eyelashes. I actually had to give this one a lot of thought. Either one can be worked around. But I think false eyelashes are a lot more believable looking [sometimes] to pass than drawn on eyebrows.

6. What do you want to be when you grow up?
Happy. I used to want to be this or another thing, but now, it's happy. I am so insanely happy right now, and my life has barely started. I only pray I can be this happy for the rest of it when I 'grow up'. Even better would be nice, but I'd be happy to just have this level forever.

7. Do you set your clocks right on time, or a few minutes ahead or behind?
I don't intentionally set any of them one way or another. They just so happen to end up that way. Computers and cell phones are our 'reliable time'. Then our living room clock is a few minutes ahead, to help us get out the door early [though we really don't need any help with that as my husband believes in being incredibly early no matter where we go], and the clock in the car is a little late. So it all evens out.

Monday, August 27, 2012

Something to See!

Hey y'all!
Remember Friday when I slipped in my latest design with Katlyn?
[Here's a refresher in case you missed it]

Well today she's doing me a super huge favor and writing me a review!
She goes over how my pricing goes, how the process starts,
and the overall ease and professionalism I carry in my designing!
I hope you go give her a listen and see just how awesome we could be together!
My slots are wide open and I'd love to hear from you.
A new design is waiting just around the corner!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Friday Letters ♥

Dear Hubby,
Thanks for Castoreum. I appreciate that lovely description of 'beaver anal glands' that "naturally" flavor our food. Jesus christ, you know I'm picky with food as it is. Now if I see anything that claims 'and other natural ingredients', I'm going to picture giving a beaver a rim job. His words, not mine.

Dear Job,
I'm super excited to have the hours, I enjoy my job, and love the money. But christ I'm tired. Let's let Mrs. White have a breath eh?

Dear self,
I've only just realized why people doubt the validity of my Mrs. White moniker. Apparently it's a Clue character. Who knew?

Dear Katlyn,
Thanks so much for letting me do a product promo on your blog. Another new design that I absolutely love! So sorry I haven't been able to fix the alignment issue you're having yet, but I hope you still love it!

[GO say hi to her and see the amazing!]

Dear Weight Loss,
While I'm super proud of our progress so far, the DQ I just had to ingest is probably not going to help you.
Sorry about that. I caved. If it makes you feel better, my colon doesn't seem to appreciate what I did either.

Dear Stomach,
Hey you. Shut up and take it. We've had this food before. Just because I haven't eaten it in a while doesn't mean we're a wimp. Suck it up cupcake.

Dear Project Runway,
What the hell? Why'd you let the guy who treated his 'shockingly plus sized woman' [a size 14 mind you] like absolute shit stay on the show? I think you're sending a bad message. Makes me reconsider a few things.


clue sig

Thursday, August 23, 2012

New Design and Bring Home Warden Fund

Hello hello!
It's time for another stunning layout reveal!
I hope you love this one as much as I do!
It's for the group authored blog Sweet Smart Money.

I highly recommend that you go visit it live.
If only for those pink buttons up at the top.
They change color when you hover, and I enjoy them!

It was a joy to work with Jacqui, whom I've worked with before, if you remember correctly.
She's super open to new ideas,
so I definitely got to experiment and play around.
Which, as a creative entity, I LOVE!


Here's where I pander highly suggest my design services to you!
And you wanna know why?
There's a super adorable reason why, swearsies.
Wanna see?
Of course you do.

This is Warden!
Or well, he will be. Currently he's Q M 3.
But when he gets to us, he's gonna be Warden!
He is a black and tan coonhound,
and he's freakin adorable!!
Couldn't you just eat him up?
I so could.

He is the reason why I'm really tryin to sell my little heart out to you.
He's also a very expensive little doggy, and since we're having him shipped from way out yonder,
[aka Tennessee]
he's gonna be even more pricey!
So I'm trying to help us have a buffer between our paychecks and this sweet little monster.
I cannot wait to meet him, and I know he's going to be a handsome boy.

So don't you just want to help a sista out?
I know that I would if I was y'all and readin this.
So if you need some wonderful new blog design,
or know someone who does,
please PLEASE come and see me!
I'd love to hook you up, and have you loving your home page every time you open it!

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

7 Questions Tra La La

That's my chihuahua.
She's pretty much gotta be into everything ever.
So yes, she has to be in my pictures.
And yes, that's my husband's thumb. Moving on!

1. Bold or Understated?
The picture above should probably give you an idea of my answer. I'm quite bold. I'm loud, oftentimes dry to the point of mildly offensive, and quick to laugh. I can't really be understated if I'm comfortable. I can clam up quite nicely if I'm not though. As far as fashion wise? Probably bold. I enjoy bright colors, comfort but feminine and slightly sexy [sometimes].

2. You have to survive alone in the wild and you only get to take one thing with you. Your choices are: A Pocket Knife, a Water Bottle, or a Book. Which do you choose and why?
Probably a water bottle. My husband would be disgusted with me, because he'd choose knife any day. But I'm just not as comfortable with knives. I think there's more 'me' ways to do things besides a knife, because knowing me, I'd probably slice myself quite nicely the first time I tried to use it. Besides, there are many more ways to catch an animal than there are to make a watertight container.

3. Thirty Two Cows, Seven Eight Chickens, How Many Didn't?
Twenty five? I have no freakin clue lmao. My husband says twenty five. I'm dubious as to the validity of this question.

4. Would you rather die doing one legendary act of service or do small acts of kindness that may go unnoticed every day?
Mmmm probably the second. I tend to believe in random acts of kindness, doing as many as I can every day. I try to think of others, and try to be courteous and kind. Besides, a hail of gunfire has never really been my style.

5. Happiness is ________. (one word; fill in the blank)
That's right, my life is pretty dang happy right now. My husband and I were just discussing this actually. That we've never been more fiscally, emotionally, mentally, physically happy as we are right now.

6. Can you laugh with out smiling?
I'm not entirely sure that's quite possible. Besides, isn't smiling kind of a precursor to laughing, or am I wrong there?

7. Do you pop your knuckles?
Not intentionally. I actually think it's rather disgusting, and it hurts! I believe that's partially because my mother discouraged it when I was growing up. But it's also one of those small repetitive noises that can set off my anxiety. So yeah, no. 
Don't forget to go say hi!!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Another Design Out There!

Hey y'all!
Guess who's sportin a brand new design?
That's right, Bebe from Simple as it Should Be is!
She got one of my spiffy lovely simply adorable designs,
and she may have one of my favorites yet!
It was super clean and streamlined,
which gave it this touch of class and creativity.
[if I do say so myself]

So what do you think guys?
Super adorable right?
You should definitely go and visit her and leave her some sweet comments,
some follow love.
You know, the whole big cheese.

Don't forget, if you're interested,
please don't hesitate to email me! I'd love to hear from you!
I also made this design up in probably less than 48 hours!
So if we vibe and we get on a good wave length, then we can really flow!

Monday, August 20, 2012

Monday Morning

Let me share just what my Monday morning is like today.
By the way...

I feel a little like Stitch's first 'hi' this morning.
A) It's early
B) I know I've been neglecting my blog a bit lately.
Somewhat in favor of designing others,
and somewhat still of that lack of inspiration/anxiety I spoke of earlier.

Regardless, my Monday Morning.
I'm currently staring quite blankly at the scene of my monitor, because it's 6:45 in the bloody morning,
and I"m no where near awake enough to be sending something out into cyber space.
But my husband is already up and at splitting wood with his new pneumatic log splitter.
Let me tell you, I find that thing hilarious.
It seems like a lot of work, and funny looking work, and an ax seems less complicated.
But beggars can't be choosers.
Oh wait, we spent forty dollars on that. Damn. Not so much beggars.
[by the way, who the f knew pneumatic was spelled with a p,
and beggars had an a in it. Guess thanks little squiggly red lines]

I find his dedication inspiring, and I hope it keeps up.

In other news,
I've lost three pounds in less than a week since buying our new scale.
That's pretty epic right?
We're really working on portion control,
as well as some remnants of our low carb thing we were doing before.
I'm pretty stoked. I like losing weight.
Especially when I don't have to starve in order to do so.
You'd be pretty amazed what just eating one portion can do.
As in, fill you up.
Guess the people who figure out serving size know a thing or two.

As I know a few of you have been waiting breathlessly,
for pictures of my new house, I'll share with you one.

Yep here she is.
She's a little on the older side, but we love her all the same.
She needs a bit of tlc but she serves our needs just fine.
And then some. She's definitely a house we'll need to grow into.
Which I look forwards to.

All right, I think that's all the news I can manage to purge out to you this morning,
hope that I've caught a few of you up!
What's on your agenda for this week? Any exciting news for you?
Share it with me!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

New Design

Hey y'all!
I finished another design and wanted to show it to ya!
It now belongs to the lovely Sara from You.And.Me.Are.We
It took literally hundreds of exchanges, 
but I'm happy to say we've reached a beautiful outcome.

[the social media buttons scroll]

So what do you think?
I thought it turned out really rather nice.
I hope you think so too!
Also, go over and say hey to Sara and let her know how much you love it!
She'd always love some lovely new visitors!

And now for some interesting new thoughts I've had as well.
Some design styles I think that would be unique and stick out among the myriad of other blogs out there.

Don't you think an art nouveau design would be stunning?
I think it could be a lot of fun.
Really interesting and lovely and elegant.

Another thought I've had lately would be old school americana tattoo design.
Wouldn't that be another fun and interesting blog design?
Definitely unique and stand out.

Thank you everyone who always shows so much interest and support for my designing.
Love you all, and if you're interested in looking further into my services,
feel free to e-mail me lovelies!

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

7 Questions, Back to School Edition

God I can't believe I'm posting this haha
It's a picture of me in high school,
in the back of a volkswagon hippy van that belonged to a friend.
That is indeed a Pepsi, just for all you speculators.
It was probably when we were cruisin,
lookin for something to do, which was hard to do in this little town.
Simpler times.

1. It's back to school time! Are YOU going back to school? 

I am not. I could eventually, and might sometime, but as it stands, I'm quite happy with where I am in my life.

2. Speaking of back to school... You receive 10 pts if you can name this movie: 
"Don't you love New York in the fall? It makes me wanna buy school supplies. I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils if I knew your name and address. On the other hand, this not knowing has its charms." 

I have no idea where that's from!
Maybe I'll find out later, for it seems like a lovely show.
[Comes back from checking out Gentri Lee's Blog]
You've Got Mail!
Oh gosh, I haven't seen that show in AGES.
Must watch again soon.

3. Who did you hang out with in school? Cool kids, jocks, nerds, were you a loner, etc? (all are welcome here- btw)

Hmm.. I hung out with a lot of different people honestly.
I ran with several vastly different groups, and none of them really knew each other.
My mom was undeniably confused about that.
She grew up in a small town where she knew every single person in her school.
Mine had 2000+ kids in it. Needless to say, I didn't know them all.
I ran with some jock-types.
Band/choir kids.
Some in-betweeners.
Some nerds. I loved game nights.
{Though I had to date one of them at any given time to actually get invited}
4. What was your favorite subject in school?

I'm not sure I had a 'favorite subject'.
I loved learning, regardless.
I did well in math, was in Calculus my senior year.
I enjoyed science, though disliked taking physics at the same time as calc, they were too similar but different too. Made learning them a headache.
I loved art class, which is consequently where I hung out most with my husband.
History was fun when it was AP History and I actually found it interesting.
English was all right, it could be fun, but I absolutely despised it sometimes/years.
Oh I absolutely loved psychology/sociology. [Took more of those in college than high school though]

5. (I've asked this question before, but it was a while ago) If you had to go back and redo one of the following, which would you choose and why? Preschool, Elementary, Middle School, High School, College?

I'm curious as to why anyone would redo elementary, perhaps save for enjoyment.
I'd probably redo college. I loved the atmosphere, I loved the learning and experience.
I had a lot of trouble with outside circumstance, which affected my grades and desire to go.
While I don't regret where I am, I do miss it, and think some days I may go back.

6. Home/ Packed Lunch or School Lunch? 

Most the time I did school lunch. Our high school had some really good food.
[This was pre-health kick in schools of course haha]
College I did about half and half, mainly because the food could be good some days,
but most days it was just all right.

7. What's more exciting? The first day of school or the last day of school?
Oooh that's a good question.
Hmmm...exciting? Probably the last day.
Mostly because, if we really think about it,
the first day of school isn't that exciting.
Lots of paperwork, lots of boring same thing talks each class.

Don't forget to go visit Gentri Lee and see what she and others answered!

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Those Immensely Introspective Moments...

So this is kind of a post perhaps to gather my own thoughts.
To talk out what I'm trying to understand in my head,
and maybe y'all can offer some insights?
I'm always welcome to commenters, posters, 
and all those lovely people that come to see without a word spoken.
I feel some day perhaps I'll find something that speaks to you, 
and we'll finally meet...screen to screen.

Have you ever had a moment, that turns your mind sort of on it's ear?
[anyone else sort of tip their head in imagining that? I did.]
I had one of those yesterday, and it's left me kind of thoughtful in how I've held onto things.
You know, those monumental times of pain and damage,
that you just can't seem to let go of.
It's unhealthy, and most days you can say they're gone.
But that's only because you aren't exposed to any kind of reminder that day.

I'm going to relate to you one of my experiences,
in a short nutshell.
Maybe someday I'll expand, but I'm unsure if I'd even be able to.
My mind blocked most of it out.
Between the ages of 13 and 15, I was in a really toxic relationship.
It was my first 'serious' relationship.
You know, the kind that really shapes you for the rest of your life.
It's taken me a long long time to regain myself back from it.
I still have moments. Eight years later.
It was a very controlling, emotionally and mentally abusive, farce of a relationship.
His mother was nearly worse, in her support of everything he did. 
And her helpful planning that I should get pregnant.
At fourteen.
It was seriously immensely fucked up.

As much as I dislike that this has been a key shaping point for my life,
It has.
Some of it has been good. And now most of it has been good.
But for a long time there were a lot of negative side effects.
I've grown a lot. And have learned to look at it in some positive light.
That I wasn't old enough to make my own legal decisions.
That he wasn't old enough to take me anywhere from my parents.
That it's made me immensely aware of being myself and never losing myself again.

Another key point to understanding some additional dilemmas:
I live in the same town that this happened in.
It's not a large town.
You can see my problem occasionally.
This is what is leading to my current contemplation.

Recently, the place I work at has been host to that boy's grandparents.
I've seen them once or twice,
and I'm sure they don't recognize me or even know who I am.
I'm sure I was never that important to anyone there.
Yesterday his grandpa came up and got two cups of ice from me,
at two different points in the day.
The first time, I was nervous. Ridiculously so.
I had a near panic in my mind of 
'what if he recognizes me?
what if he asks questions?
what if he tries to say anything?'

Ridiculous right?
I feel stupid even typing it. But it's the truth.

But it went without a hitch.
The second time I even helped him further 
to make sure the ice would last all the way home
with a bigger cup and double cupping with a hot and cold cup.
Want to know what my thoughts were when all was said and done?

"Man I mighta thought you were a nice guy if I didn't know what you spawned"

Precise wording there, mmhm.
I sent it in a text. I should know.
And as I let it sink in and peculate 
[haha coffee joke]
throughout the rest of my day I began to wonder if that was a sort of skewed way of looking at things.
It makes me question if I'm finally ready to start letting go of things.
I would like to, and I suspect that there's a lot I've already let go of to even have that thought.
After all, it wasn't his family's fault that what happened...happened.
but I also feel like maybe, as an onlooker to a child couple,
that they may have thought something was wrong and done something about it.
I still have reservations of letting go of a thought structure I've had so long.
And in reality, I know that it doesn't really matter.
They obviously don't care. I'm obviously never going to be friends with these people.
I'm probably never going to speak to them hardly beyond that small contact.
But... it's just left me slightly ambivalent about the whole ordeal. 

I have a lacking of objectivity in this situation I suspect as well.
So I don't even know where to start my head.
My thoughts are still rather a jumble,
as is obvious by the slightly unorganized blog post I have going on.
Maybe some of you have some thoughts,
or direction that I might follow in trying to untangle all this mess?