Thursday, June 12, 2014

The things I love to complain about about my husband

I couldn't say hate. Couldn't do it. I have never ever hated one thing about my soul mate.

If anyone knows my husband and I, 
you know that we are complete opposites about a lot of things.
Like a conversation my mom, my husband, and I were having where he states:
"You know me, I spent my entire life trying my best
to avoid as much attention as possible"
And my mom barely suppresses a snort and goes 
"then why did you marry her?"

And honestly?
My husband is extremely introverted and avoids social situations like the plague.
I have always been a host, a wild child, wanting to at least try everything a few times.
New situations make me want to try them.
Anything new he wants to go a long ways around.
We are inherently different.
Which has led to our fair share of adjustments.
But one thing we have always been in sync with is
and that has made all the difference.

So, as I sit here, sipping mildly sweet tea, and thinking on the world,
as mother's do in their small amount of spare time between bedtime and real bedtime.
[y'all know what I'm sayin].
I know there's a lot of things that I have learned to love about my husband.
Even if it at one point or another, at least once, has made me cringe.

one. He sees the world in black and white.
Honestly. Black and white. Where I have always embraced the grey.
It leads to some interesting debates, which we both enjoy.
And while on one side I've occasionally wanted to roll my eyes,
most days now, with our four year anniversary quickly approaching,
I like to just sit back and listen and watch him.
To see such passion in his viewpoints that they lead to extremes.
I've told him before, I feel sometimes like I'm not truly passionate about anything.
Because I am so willing to see multiple sides.
I envy that conviction.

two. He never ever learned how to close a cabinet door.
Swear to god. This one I'm still learning to love. I go into our kitchen several times a week,
only to find several doors gaping open. 
And there I go around the circuit, snapping them shut, sometimes harder than others.
But I can't help it. Sometimes I just smile.
Because I know he's so into his own mind he hasn't noticed.
That many times those open cabinets mean he's fixing something for both of us.
Of all the times we've cooked together, one of our favorite though fewer opportunities now,
and I get to play assistant. Fetching and closing doors.

three. He loves to have an inch thick layer of pepper on everything, especially meat.
This one I was mildly offended by for a good while.
I love to cook, and I am a chronic seasoner. Perhaps overly so, but I never think so.
No one would ever accuse my food of being bland.
So when I go through the trouble of seasoning and flowing things on as I go,
only to be obliterated by another pound of pepper, 
I'm left scratching my head.
Besides, salt is way better than pepper could ever be.
But I've learned that he just can't not do it.
He has to season everything over again. More from habit than anything else I think.
So I stopped trying to put as much pepper into things, which I don't like as well,
because I know he's just going to pepper it again anyway. We both win!

four. He's opposed to new experiences.
I love my husband, dearly, but he is indeed an introvert to the extreme.
He enjoys his spare time spent away from people as much as possible.
He doesn't like to go out, to socialize in new situations, and is perfectly content
to have the same interactions in his life that he's had since he was in third grade.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I honestly have calmed down a lot.
As much as I love new situations, I very much am a private person,
and enjoy having my down time alone. To decompress. To relax.
But sometimes I want to go out and have a new memory together.
Luckily, my husband is willing to do these things if he knows they're important to me.
And I, like a good partner, take stock of my priorities and don't force 
things on him that aren't actually important.
Because I know each one is a big deal and requires a large amount of energy for him.
So we have learned to sort of feel each other out. To see if the other is really set on this.
Or set on not doing it, as the case may be.
Like I said, communication. It is the most important thing in any relationship.

All these things are honestly so negligible to me. 
It was hard even coming up with four.
[and trust, I wanted five, to make it even, pretty, perfect. Could not.]
Because there are an infinite number of things I am so privileged to have with him.
To name a few off the top of my head;
The way he made a promise to never stop touching me in a loving manner on our first real date,
and he never has broken it.
That he will still tell me something nice about myself every time I ask him to.
That he's never once said I was stupid for feeling the way I'm feeling.
Or that I had no reason to feel the way I feel.
That he still oggles me like a teenager, still stops and stares when I walk in a room.
That my heart physically aches when I think about how much I love him.
How I nearly cry every time I see him with our son because it's that beautiful.
The joy I feel as I rush to the door each time he comes home like a little puppy.
His eternal optimism that everything will work out eventually.

There are so many things I love about my husband.
And I still feel like a newlywed,
and still worry that I'm not doing enough to deserve how good he is to me.
That he made me believe in soulmates.
In belonging together in a way that defies time and logic.
I hope that you have this, or have a chance at this.
Just know, that getting it, choosing it, every day, is not always easy.
But it's always the thing I want most in my life,
and I'm never willing to give it up.

Monday, June 9, 2014

Mindblock Mondays

Good morning guys and gals.
How did your weekend go?
Mine went well, but I was incredibly busy.
I helped do six dozen Seattle Seahawks cupcakes
and a Seattle colored cake as well for a family friend's 70th birthday party.
And it was by no means a normal little 70th small group.
There was probably close to 70 people there.
It was the most crazy thing I've been to in a long while.
The first large group party my husband and I have been to actually.
[Our 4 year anniversary is next month]

It was....stressful.
But overall I had a really amazing time.
Especially the last ten minutes.
My husband and I had a very small intimate wedding.
Proposed and planned in a week.
So we didn't have a whole large reception, or dancing.
Which was honestly perfectly okay for us.
But it meant we never had our first dance.
And as I mentioned, we'd never actually had an opportunity to have one.
So he gave in on Saturday, and we had our first dance.
I felt just like I did when we got married all those years ago.
I don't know what song we danced to..
I don't know who was out there with us..
I don't know how we looked dancing.
Because I was once again sucked into the way he looked at me.
And all I saw were his eyes.
The way they looked, the smile that crinkled them,
the way that they made me feel like the only girl in the world.
It was a beautiful, special, amazing ending to a great night.

Okay okay, now that I've gushed,
on to Mindblock Mondays!
I told you last week I'd answer the prompts I gave 
[though I'm super sad that no one else did! Oh well! Maybe this time!]
and then I'll offer some new ones!

"What's your least favorite dessert?"
Mmmm probably flan. 
Eggs don't belong as the main ingredient of a dessert.

"What was your favorite part about last week?"
Heh. Probably what I described above.

"The coolest but least practical pet you can think of?"
Ahh let's see.... Either an ocelot...or an otter. Otters rock my face.

"Your guilty pleasure tv show that you would probably deny watching?"
Oh man. I have soooo many of these.
I am a reality trash queen. I cannot help it. I'm a junkie.
I just totally blasted through the newest season of Orange is the New Black
in three days.
But I would totally cop to that.
Mm... Okay I'll admit.
I used to watch Jersey Shore...a lot.
I still like watching marathon reruns.
Don't judge me.

"Do you put any sort of stock in astrology? Why or why not?"
Mm I don't know how to answer that fully.
Do I think my 'sign' dictates my daily behavior and my fate?
No. I don't.
But do I think that horoscopes seem to have some truth to them?
Yes sometimes. As far describing personality types by birth time.
Supposedly. I'm not entirely sure how they work.
And I definitely don't read them on a regular basis.
But I do think they're fun to read and contemplate against yourself.
But as far as much stock? No. I don't.
Mostly because I don't think anything dictates where I'm going to end up,
or what I'm going to do. Astrological or otherwise.

All right, onto this weeks new prompts!
If you do play along, please link back so others can come link up too!

Mindblock Monday Prompts

1. How do you try and relieve stress in a healthy way?
2. What's the strangest food you've ever eaten?
3. Who is one of your favorite bloggers? Why?
4. Are you a wine or a beer drinker?
5. What are you most looking forwards to this summer?

Friday, June 6, 2014

Coffee Date

I've missed coffee dates.
I've missed the idea of having a drink or outing with a girl friend.
So when I heard that Alissa from Diary of an Addict offered a sweet little link up,
I figured I'd once again fuel my girl friend having coffee drinking fantasies.


First of all, if we had coffee, and I'm in my own little fantasy here,
I'd take you to Big Foot Java. I'd let you drive because my car is messy.
Big Foot Java is way better than any Starbucks, hands down.
I'd let you in on my secret there. Because I've never liked Starbucks.
I'd let you choose our friendship then. Maybe you can't be friends with a gal that thinks
Starbucks is super overrated.
If we're still chill, I'd introduce you to why Starbucks is overrated
through one of these glorious coffee stands.
We would then need to go find a park to sit at, mainly because it is a drive-thru.
But we'd find somewhere.
We have pretty parks around here.

It's been a long time since I've had a moment like this,
so we'd of course catch up.
Catch up on what we've been doing. What has been happening.
And I'd find myself unable to tell you anything but about my son.
Because I've become one of those mothers that knows not
how to talk about anything else.
I'd tell you how he's starting to roll over to his stomach now.
And that he's eating solid food.
And that his favorites are carrots, green beans, yellow squash, spinach.
In that order, greatest to lowest.
And that he won't eat oatmeal cereal unless he has carrots mixed in.
That he's always excited to eat, and wants to just eat all the time.
Actually eat. Not bottle. He loves his bottle still, but he is always excited for solid food.

And after we'd talked about what it is you always love to talk about,
be it your kids, your pets, your job.
I'd love to hear about it, knowing that that is what your life revolves around.
And if it wasn't kids, I'd admire how I'd already happily checked out of that world.
That I'd finally gotten what I'd wanted, to be a stay at home mom,
and I'm not missing anything from before.
I would feel like I'd finally belong where I wanted to be.

I'd tell you that it was my grandfather's birthday on the third,
and my grandparent's anniversary on the fourth.
This was the first year both those days have passed without my grandfather.
Oh I forgot to mention? He passed on the fifth of April.
I haven't told many people. I don't really think anyone besides my immediate family know.
I don't like to broadcast things. I naturally tend to be very private.
Especially with things that are exceptionally important to me.
I'd say I would feel bad that I haven't had time to miss him much.
Just in small idle moments when I have a bare instant that I'm not going,
I think of him. How something today reminded me of him.
That I'd want to share it with him. That I am happier he's in a better place,
but the song "If Heaven Wasn't So Far Away" has taken on a higher meaning.
I also think of him whenever I hear a sweet country song.
Or when my baby smiles.
He looks a lot like my grandpa sometimes when he smiles.
And how I want so bad not to ever forget him,
but the stories he told every other day are already dim in my memory.
How I miss him. I miss him. But I don't say it much.
I don't have time.

We'd share, I'm sure, an agreement that there's never enough hours in the day.
That I have to constantly shuffle myself, make sure my priorities are in order.
That when I indulge too heavily in something for me, personally, I feel bad.
I want nothing more than to be everything, everywhere, and happy.
But it seems like those things are sometimes mutually exclusive.
I'd tell you that sometimes I feel like I don't know anymore what's right.
What I'm supposed to be doing.
What I should be saying or making.
What qualifies as a happy family, a happy life.
How much time is enough quality time? What is quality time?
I'd tell you that I'm on the brink of making myself miserable again with stress,
but I'm trying to hold onto that barely bridled chaos and not let myself get sucked in.

There's too much been happening to really talk about it all over one coffee date.
That's one thing I'm sure we'd agree on.
Because June is the worst month for me.
It's too busy and I need at least three other me's to get it all done.
Off the top of my head, I tell you, there are:
Five birthdays [minus one for my grandfather]
Last weekend [not technically June but leading into it] we had a family reunion.
This weekend is one of the birthdays, which my mother and I are providing cupcakes and cake.
Not to mention there will probably be eighty people there and I'm dreading that.
Our first father's day.
One of those birthdays is my husband's, so I have to try and make it beautiful.
Another one of those birthdays is my great nephew's and my mother and I are hosting it.
That throughout June I'm helping to plan and do everything for my grandparent's
funeral service and reception afterwards for July.
There's not enough time.

So as you can see, I am leading a chaotic mind right now.
And I'm trying desperately to remain sane and happy.
To not put too much on myself, but at the same time, there's so much I need to do.
I'm in a conundrum. Would you have any advice?
Come, have coffee.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Summer Bucket List

So with everyone crowing about summer,
and how excited they are, 
I will admit I'm beginning to get a bit of the fever.
To our household, summer isn't really that exciting yet.

We don't have any kids in school breaking for the summer.
We don't have any vacation coming our way from work.
And well, to me, I suspect it's going to be just another set of weeks.
But here's to hoping that it won't lack its fun and joy everyone is planning for.

So I figured that I'd post a few ideas that are on my personal summer bucket list.

one. take our family to the park
two. continue the [usually] successful cleaning schedule
three. host a dinner party, and/or birthday party
four. have a successful outside movie night
five. host a game night
six. have at least three solo date nights
seven. make a sale on my baby accessories
eight. enjoy myself
nine. do an art project with Liam
ten. make [and maybe produce somehow?] a custom fabric pattern
eleven. make another amazing birthday cake for my husband
twelve. come up with one reason each day why I deserve the great life I have
thirteen. go to an event I've never been to before

So these are just the ones I can pull off the top of my head at ten oclock at night before I go to bed.
Maybe I'll add onto them as I go.
And I definitely will be checking them off and letting y'all know how it's going.
I think this is an extremely fun thing to do 
to get your priorities in order, as well as remind yourself what awesome stuff is in store.
So what's on your summer bucket list?
Do tell!

Monday, June 2, 2014

One of those Sucky Mondays

Do you ever just wake up and feel like the last six and a half hours were just
a waste?
Surely they must be because you wake up
tired, sore, achey, miserable.
Pick an adjective. 

That's how I woke up this lovely Monday morning.
I usually don't wake up in this manner.
I'm usually quite decent in the mornings,
mainly because my son is usually excited to see me come into his room to take him downstairs.
And/or my husband hasn't left yet and I get to spend a few precious moments with him
before he takes off for his 8-10 hour work day.

That was not the case so far.
Hubby got called out on an emergency call so I was woken with a quick kiss and dash.
Baby's not up so far, which is nice,
but at the same time I'm considering going up and checking to make sure he's not dead.
But as I'm sitting here, I'm just gross.
Plain and simple, it's about the only word I got.

I had a nice body image cry last night.
And tossed and turned for quite a long while to try and get to sleep.
And now waking up with this lovely back of skull ache
and not being able to get comfortable anywhere,
it's delightful.

ps baby just started crying so not dead. good.

I don't mean to be such a downer, I sat down here to offer up some prompts for this sucky Monday.
So in case any of you were feeling like crap like me,
you'd have a jumping off point.

SO! Here they are.
If you'd like to use em, please join the linky below so I can see the greatness of your answers!
Also I pray your morning has been perkier than mine.

Monday Mindblock Prompts

1. What's your least favorite dessert?
2. What was your favorite part about last week?
3. The coolest but least practical pet you can think of?
4. Your guilty pleasure tv show that you would probably deny watching?
5. Do you put any sort of stock in astrology? Why or why not?

I will answer these next Monday and I hope to see
what you come up with!
Please please take a moment to answer so I can nose and post stalk your blog.
Oh yeah, I'm one of dem.

Also, for all you faithful readers, I'm having a quick flash sale over at my shop.
Get 50% your new blogger design deposit!
Check out the details and snatch up the deal before it's gone with code 50FASHIONFLASH!

Go hang out at Mingle Monday too!