Thursday, June 12, 2014

The things I love to complain about about my husband

I couldn't say hate. Couldn't do it. I have never ever hated one thing about my soul mate.

If anyone knows my husband and I, 
you know that we are complete opposites about a lot of things.
Like a conversation my mom, my husband, and I were having where he states:
"You know me, I spent my entire life trying my best
to avoid as much attention as possible"
And my mom barely suppresses a snort and goes 
"then why did you marry her?"

And honestly?
My husband is extremely introverted and avoids social situations like the plague.
I have always been a host, a wild child, wanting to at least try everything a few times.
New situations make me want to try them.
Anything new he wants to go a long ways around.
We are inherently different.
Which has led to our fair share of adjustments.
But one thing we have always been in sync with is
and that has made all the difference.

So, as I sit here, sipping mildly sweet tea, and thinking on the world,
as mother's do in their small amount of spare time between bedtime and real bedtime.
[y'all know what I'm sayin].
I know there's a lot of things that I have learned to love about my husband.
Even if it at one point or another, at least once, has made me cringe.

one. He sees the world in black and white.
Honestly. Black and white. Where I have always embraced the grey.
It leads to some interesting debates, which we both enjoy.
And while on one side I've occasionally wanted to roll my eyes,
most days now, with our four year anniversary quickly approaching,
I like to just sit back and listen and watch him.
To see such passion in his viewpoints that they lead to extremes.
I've told him before, I feel sometimes like I'm not truly passionate about anything.
Because I am so willing to see multiple sides.
I envy that conviction.

two. He never ever learned how to close a cabinet door.
Swear to god. This one I'm still learning to love. I go into our kitchen several times a week,
only to find several doors gaping open. 
And there I go around the circuit, snapping them shut, sometimes harder than others.
But I can't help it. Sometimes I just smile.
Because I know he's so into his own mind he hasn't noticed.
That many times those open cabinets mean he's fixing something for both of us.
Of all the times we've cooked together, one of our favorite though fewer opportunities now,
and I get to play assistant. Fetching and closing doors.

three. He loves to have an inch thick layer of pepper on everything, especially meat.
This one I was mildly offended by for a good while.
I love to cook, and I am a chronic seasoner. Perhaps overly so, but I never think so.
No one would ever accuse my food of being bland.
So when I go through the trouble of seasoning and flowing things on as I go,
only to be obliterated by another pound of pepper, 
I'm left scratching my head.
Besides, salt is way better than pepper could ever be.
But I've learned that he just can't not do it.
He has to season everything over again. More from habit than anything else I think.
So I stopped trying to put as much pepper into things, which I don't like as well,
because I know he's just going to pepper it again anyway. We both win!

four. He's opposed to new experiences.
I love my husband, dearly, but he is indeed an introvert to the extreme.
He enjoys his spare time spent away from people as much as possible.
He doesn't like to go out, to socialize in new situations, and is perfectly content
to have the same interactions in his life that he's had since he was in third grade.
I mean, don't get me wrong, I honestly have calmed down a lot.
As much as I love new situations, I very much am a private person,
and enjoy having my down time alone. To decompress. To relax.
But sometimes I want to go out and have a new memory together.
Luckily, my husband is willing to do these things if he knows they're important to me.
And I, like a good partner, take stock of my priorities and don't force 
things on him that aren't actually important.
Because I know each one is a big deal and requires a large amount of energy for him.
So we have learned to sort of feel each other out. To see if the other is really set on this.
Or set on not doing it, as the case may be.
Like I said, communication. It is the most important thing in any relationship.

All these things are honestly so negligible to me. 
It was hard even coming up with four.
[and trust, I wanted five, to make it even, pretty, perfect. Could not.]
Because there are an infinite number of things I am so privileged to have with him.
To name a few off the top of my head;
The way he made a promise to never stop touching me in a loving manner on our first real date,
and he never has broken it.
That he will still tell me something nice about myself every time I ask him to.
That he's never once said I was stupid for feeling the way I'm feeling.
Or that I had no reason to feel the way I feel.
That he still oggles me like a teenager, still stops and stares when I walk in a room.
That my heart physically aches when I think about how much I love him.
How I nearly cry every time I see him with our son because it's that beautiful.
The joy I feel as I rush to the door each time he comes home like a little puppy.
His eternal optimism that everything will work out eventually.

There are so many things I love about my husband.
And I still feel like a newlywed,
and still worry that I'm not doing enough to deserve how good he is to me.
That he made me believe in soulmates.
In belonging together in a way that defies time and logic.
I hope that you have this, or have a chance at this.
Just know, that getting it, choosing it, every day, is not always easy.
But it's always the thing I want most in my life,
and I'm never willing to give it up.


  1. The joys of marriage. I think having extremes on each end help bring both people into more of a neutral, middle ground. That's great!
    But, I hear you about the re-seasoning of food and the leaving cabinet doors open. Ack!

    1. That is an excellent way of putting it! I was trying to get around to communicating that message, but I didn't quite nail it. So thank you!
      Hehe I'm glad I'm not the only one to know that pain!