Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Fifty Shades of Stupid! Oh Yeah!!

So from the title alone of this link up,
I could not HELP but desire to be apart of it.
Come on, we all know that my opinions on that book weren't the greatest.
SO that made me happy in itself.

But, the bigger reason I'm linking up today is the fact that it sounds amazing!!
Julie Marie from The Funny Thing of it Is
[which is, by far, one of my fav blogs to read. She has a similar humor to things]
is hosting this fantastic bloggy link up, and let's see just what I have to divulge, eh?

50shades

Basically we're going to be reliving some of my more stupid moments.
Who doesn't want a good giggle at themselves once in a while, right?
Right.
One must never take oneself too serious.
Or something.
Don't judge me.

ONE:

Okay, this one is something I do at work. ALL the flippin time.
It bugs the crap out of me, because my brain is so on autopilot and it's obvious.
Someone will order a drink, clearly telling me what size they want it, or if they want it hot or iced.
And before I actually give my brain time to analyze and compute said information,
I bluntly go, in my chipper cheery chipmunk voice,
"And what size did you want that?"
To which they stare back at my blankly,
and slowly repeat what they'd just said,
which my brain is finally catching up to saying,
hey genius, we knew that.
It's super amazing. Let me tell ya.
You should try it one day.

TWO:
[This one involves me hubby too. A TWOFER!]

So. Tonight (Monday) my husband and I came home,
after very long and particularly exhausting work shifts.
As soon as I stepped in my house, the first thing out of my mouth is:
someone has shit in my house.
Now keep in mind, I do have a dog, and am currently dog sitting my mom's dog.
So it is not totally unreasonable that, indeed, someone had possibly shit in my house.
But wait, it gets better.
My husband and I are now going from room to room,
trying to ferret out this nauseating smell.
That we can't decide if it's like, dog poop,
or vomit,
or old cheese.
(My words, not his)
We'd finally determined it was either in our dining room,
or kitchen.
And we have a few odd boxes in our dining room,
since of course we haven't unpacked fully yet.
I said don't judge me.
So we're beginning sniffing like idiots around these boxes,
trying to discern if just what we're smelling is in there.
But to no avail.
Finally, we end in the kitchen,
when I hear my husband gagging
Sweetly I ask "didjya find it dear?"
To which he replies, weakly, yah.
Turns out, and this is where it gets MORBIDLY embarrassing.
It was a box dinner that we had cooked,
and the sauce that we didn't use was still in said box,
and had sat on our counter long enough for the bacteria or whatever,
to create enough gas to rupture the bag.
It was truly and seriously nauseating.
And I'm very sad with myself that it had been left on the counter that long.
But... in truth... it is not the first time such a thing has happened.
okay judge me a little you awesome housewives you

So there you have it ladies.
Those are my embarrassing and lame stories for the week.
I hope you go over and check out all the other awesome entries there are sure to be.
Until next time...


4 comments:

  1. Oh, you make me laugh...and to all those "perfect housewives" I've done it too! :)
    xoxo

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  2. hahaha. love it. you are not alone on this, trust me. the smell emanating from my home several times a week has kept me puzzled. the other day i kept texting my husband, I was upstairs, he was downstairs, telling him I smelled gas.. turns out he claims it was a skunk smell that was stuck in our home for like 3 days.. but I've done the old food thing too.. =) thanks for linking up!! im sure every wife has one of these stories..

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  3. hahah I love both of these stories. too funny!

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  4. I have a 6 year old boy in the house, so all such toxic fumes are conveniently blamed on him. :-)

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